


Not a Bad Eternity

by WhatsYourNameMan



Series: It’s not Sunset Cis either [1]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Dysphoria, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Bad Parenting, Implied Transphobia, Reggie-centric (Julie and The Phantoms), Sad Story with happy ending, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, all of the Sunset Curve boys except Bobby are trans, binding, discussion of the boys’ death and burial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27330622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatsYourNameMan/pseuds/WhatsYourNameMan
Summary: Reggie started his transition way later than Luke and Alex, and now his ghost is stuck in a body he doesn’t love. Luckily, his boys and Julie are there to help him get through eternity.
Relationships: Alex & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie
Series: It’s not Sunset Cis either [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022667
Comments: 15
Kudos: 329





	Not a Bad Eternity

**Author's Note:**

> I am Projecting™️
> 
> Also I’m not entirely sure if binders were a thing you could get in the 90s, but I shudder at the thought of Reggie binding with bandages for eternity, so we’re Not Going To Do That.

Reggie shouldn’t have poofed out here. It would just bring the guys and Julie to him, questioning him in that concerned way that let him know he could always talk to them, but this time he’s not sure he could. 

He just had to get out of there. They’d had a great rehearsal, one of those ones where you put your whole body into the music and end up soaked in sweat. Luke took off his tank top to put on a new one, making sure his back was turned to Julie so she didn’t see his scars, and Reggie got a full view of them. It was just too much for him at the moment, too much when he could still feel his binder digging into his ribs, the pain following him even in death. 

He should talk to the guys about this. They’d understand. He knows they would. But how can he admit to his best friends that he’s jealous of them, when he’s supposed to be happy for them? He _is_ happy for them. He just wishes he had what they did. 

Luke was the first one to come out. Reggie will never forget the fear in Luke’s eyes when he told them, his hands shaking as he stuttered out an explanation. He’ll never forget how Luke, usually so cool and confident, was a sobbing mess as he told them that he’s not a girl, that he’s always been a guy and his name is Luke and please don’t kick him out of the band. And Reggie will never forget how he was stunned into silence by Luke’s confession, how he locked eyes with Alex and they somehow sent a silent message to each other that they _understood_ in a way Luke would never imagine. Luke had taken their silence as rejection, and run off to the beach. Reggie and Alex found him there hours later. They surrounded him in a hug and told them that they loved him, and because fate has a funny way of bringing people together, they’re guys too. They spent the rest of that night looking through baby naming books at the library. They left the next morning as Luke and Alex and Reggie, joking about how the once-female-fronted Sunset Curve was now a boy band. Reggie had never been happier. 

Luke’s parents were okay with it. They didn’t understand it, but they loved him and they tried. Somehow the music thing was a bigger issue. Luke got on hormones right away, and got top surgery a year later. He was the lucky one. He ended up with muscular arms, a sculpted chest, a sharp jawline, a perfect voice. He’d died with the body he’d always wanted, was buried with the name Luke. 

Alex’s parents kicked him out when he told them. He’d never really gotten over that hurt, but it allowed him to get emancipated and get his hormones. His voice dropped about six months after Luke’s. He never got a chance to have top surgery, but he was gifted with a chest naturally flat enough that he could get away without a binder if he wore his favorite hoodie. After their death they’d learned that Alex’s parents never showed up to claim the body, so Bobby fought for him to be buried under the name Alex. He’d fought for Reggie too, but...

Reggie hadn’t been quite as brave as his friends. His parents were controlling and overbearing, but he loved them, and he couldn’t stand to take their baby girl away from them. He’d gotten his hormones in secret, with the help of a very understanding doctor, and he only told his parents two months in, when he couldn’t keep passing off his dropping voice as a cold. They didn’t take it well. A month later, he died. His voice was still cracking, and the baby fat on his face hadn’t melted away yet, and he was wearing his binder and he died. And now he was stuck like this forever, stuck in an in-between. And worst of all, his parents buried him in a dress. 

“Reg?” Luke’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts. 

Reggie quickly wipes his tears away. He considers saying nothing, but they’ll check the roof eventually. It’s their favorite brooding spot, not that Reggie uses it nearly as much as the others. 

“Up here,” he calls out. A moment later, Luke and Alex appear next to him. 

“What’s up?” Alex asks, putting his head on Reggie’s shoulder. Reggie leans into the contact. It grounds him. 

“Just, you know. Never-ending dysphoria.” 

Alex and Luke lock eyes, understanding passing between them. Sometimes Reggie thinks they pity him, but he quickly shakes those thoughts out of his head. They know how hard his transition has been, and they’ve never been anything but supportive. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Luke asks. 

Reggie starts to speak, but Julie’s head pops up at the edge of the roof. 

“It’s not fair,” she says, panting as she plops down next to them. “You guys can just poof up here and I have to go lug the ladder out of the garage.” 

Reggie laughs. “You should just keep it out here. Feels like one of us is always up here.” 

Julie notices the shake in his voice. “What’s up?” 

Reggie glances at his boys, then takes a deep breath. “Julie, I’m transgender.” 

She blinks, surprised. “Oh. Okay.” She gives him a soft smile. “Cool.” 

Luke and Alex look at each other, and Alex nods. 

“We all are,” Luke says. 

Julie’s eyes widen as she processes this. Reggie almost laughs. 

“Wow. All of you?”

The boys nod. 

“Okay, cool. Thank you for telling me, guys.” She stops for a second. “Guys, right? Are you trans men or women?” 

Reggie does laugh this time. “We’re guys,” Alex says.

Julie grins. “Okay.” She turns to Reggie. “So what’s bothering you?” 

Reggie shrugs. “It’s stupid.” 

Luke puts an arm around him. “You know it’s not.” 

“It’s just... I don’t know. I saw Luke’s scars, and all I could think about was how badly my binder hurts, and how I’ll have to wear it for the rest of eternity. It’s fucked up, right? That I can still hurt my ribs as a ghost? But what other choice do I have?” The tears start to flow again, and he swipes at them, embarrassed. “I’m never going to look or sound the way I want to. I’m never going to have the body I want, or a beard, or a jawline like Luke’s. I’m just stuck. Not a girl, not fully a guy. Just. Stuck.” 

Julie puts a hand on Reggie’s knee. “Don’t you dare say you’re not a guy, Reggie. Your amount of facial hair doesn’t determine if you’re a man or not. You do.” 

“Yeah, and none of us are doing great in the facial hair department,” Luke jokes, patting his smooth cheek. 

Reggie laughs, but there’s pain behind it. “You know what I mean.” 

Luke looks down at the shingles. “Yeah, I do.” 

Alex picks his head up off of Reggie’s shoulder. “I get it, Reg. Sometimes I can’t bear to take this hoodie off for a weeks at a time.” 

“Thank god ghosts don’t have to do laundry,” Luke says. “Remember how bad he smelled when we were alive?” 

Alex reaches behind Reggie to smack Luke, and they all laugh. 

Alex takes Reggie’s hand. “I think it’s going to be tough, not changing for eternity. But we’re in this together, right? We have each other, and you can always talk to us.” 

Reggie nods and squeezes Alex’s hand. 

Luke holds Reggie a little tighter. “The three of us are in it for the long haul.”

“The four of us,” Julie corrects, and she takes Luke and Alex’s free hands. “I’m here for you too, and for what it’s worth, you’re the best guys I know.” 

A weight lifts off Reggie’s shoulders, looking around at these three people who he loves more than anyone in the world, who love him just as much. Eternity will be hard, he thinks, but he wouldn’t give up an eternity with these people for the world. 

“Thank you guys,” he says. “I love you.” 

“We love you too,” Julie says. 

Reggie stands, wobbling a little bit. “Let’s get back to practice. I’ve got a new riff I want to show you guys.”

Luke stands and claps him on the back. “That’s my boy.” 

The four of them go back down the garage together, and make music until they have no energy left. As they collapse into a pile on the couch, Reggie drifts off with a smile. 

_Yeah_ , he thinks. _This is a pretty damn good eternity._


End file.
